Stuck with Susan
- robbiebulger7
- Dec 1, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Jan 2
Stuck With Susan: By Robbie Bulger
Audio story (roughly 962 words)
Fighting the urge to throw his untouched Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake at the wall, Paul sat at the table in the far too crowded restaurant with a stunned look on his face. The shit bomb that Susan had just laid on him in a “pass the potatoes, I cheated on you with your ex-girlfriend” type moment, landed like a lead balloon. Visibly upset and unable to even look at her, Paul glanced toward the ceiling and then closed his eyes for a moment. “Is there anything about you that isn’t a fucking lie?” Paul asked. You could hear crickets from Susan as he waved his hand in the air to motion the wait staff to the table. “Waiter, this is for the bill!” Paul said, as he threw money down on the table and abruptly started heading toward the front doors.
Paul left the restaurant and headed toward his car while fumbling with his keys in the rain. Susan’s voice echoed across the parking lot, “Paul, please don’t leave me like this; it wasn’t my fault!” Now soaked and struggling to unlock the car door, Paul climbed inside and immediately dropped his keys on the floor. “Fuck me, what else could possibly go wrong tonight?” he mused.
Refusing to give up on him, Susan took off her heels and started running toward the car. Paul was frantically trying to start the engine, and all that could be heard was a faint “Click” as he turned the key. That’s when he noticed that he had left the lights on earlier and was now stuck there in the parking lot for what was sure to be awhile.
Before he could even think about what to do next, Susan climbed into the passenger’s side and locked the door. “Get out!” Paul shouted. “It wasn’t my fault, I love you, it happened a long time ago,” she said. “You are out of your mind! What do you mean it wasn’t your fault, Susan? Let me guess, someone forced you at gunpoint to become a lesbian and sleep with my ex-girlfriend? Paul said. “It wasn’t like that, and I’m not a lesbian; I was just confused at the time, and at first, I thought it was you, Susan replied. “You thought it was me? Really? You know what, you’re right Susan, I can see how my huge breasts pressing up against yours might have confused things for ya, my bad! Now get the hell out of my car!” Paul shouted.
“Don’t be like that, we had history, and a couple of weeks ago she called out of the blue when you were in Mexico. Her mom had just died, and I felt bad, so I met her at the pub for a drink. She was very upset and asked if she could crash on the couch for the night. I had a bit too much to drink and went to bed as soon as we got home. Shortly after that, I fell asleep; she came in, got into bed, and woke me up. I thought it was you at first,” she explained. “So, let me get this straight, once you realized it wasn’t me, you told her to stop, right? Paul replied. “Well, no, but I was hardly in my right mind at that point… I did feel bad about it the next day, though,” Susan said.
“I know I messed up, and for that I am going to be forever sorry, but it’s not that simple either, like I said, we had history together.”
“I met her a few years ago and she stalked me for months, she even left her boyfriend to come move in with me. Like I said, I was confused, it was a whole new experience and I figured I would give it a chance, but I knew almost right away that it wasn’t for me. Then, when I told her I didn’t feel the same way, she wouldn’t leave… I actually had to get a restraining order to get her out of my house. “Wait, she left her boyfriend for you? When was that?” Paul asked.
“I don’t know, maybe two years ago. It wasn’t long after you and I first met and had that fling. That was partly why it didn’t work, too, I think. You were already in my head!” she said.
“Holy fuck Susan, if it happened 2 years ago, that was me… I mean, she left me for you!” Paul said.
How could that be? It was only a few weeks after we met that one night. Wait… that means she was the girl you were telling me about back then, who you were going to break up with because she was too clingy. You asshole! How are you giving me shit about cheating when it was you who started this whole messed up cheater’s circle in the first place?” Susan replied. “Oh my god, you’re right… I am such an asshole, Paul said.
“Yes, you are,” Susan agreed. There’s another way for us to look at it, though. To be fair, ultimately, this means you chose me over her originally, and I chose you over her in the end. “What a pair!” Susan said (mildly laughing).
Leaning over and kissing him on the lips, Susan said, “What more proof do you need than this to know we were meant to be?
Needless to say, the tow truck wasn’t called until the next morning, and the two cheaters eventually worked it all out in the dark and rainy parking lot that night!
The End.
Audio Version:
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